Gory Gazette — Monster High

Since early last week, the entire student body has been moaning about receiving unsolicited texts on their iCoffins. The content? Cat Facts.

“I don’t care about cats!” howled Clawdeen, one of the afflicted student bodies. She’s says she has been receiving the texts for three moons straight, one text every hour. All day, all night. “The messages won’t stop! I keep texting back ‘cancel’ but all it says back is ‘Command Not Recognized.’ When I find out who’s doing this to me, my fangs are coming out.”

The first reported text was sent to none other than Cleo, which raised suspicions among many that her long time rivals Toralei, Meowlody and Purrsephone could be behind the prank.

“Never in my life have I been so annoyed,” said Cleo. “I mean, what the Bast already? Like I didn’t know that killing a cat was punishable by death in ancient Egypt. I wish those werecats would waste one of their lives doing something else!”

The Gory Gazette caught up with the accused kitties, who claim to be both uninvolved – and unamused - by the game.

“It’s not us,” meowed Toralei. “My mom switched off my unlimited data, so I would never waste my purrecious texts in such a fashion. Besides, doesn’t every monster know this stuff already?”

“Yeah, you’ve got to be kitten me,” said Meowlody. “This has troll written all over it!”