Gory Gazette — Monster High

Heath Burns Breathes Fire on His “Haters”

Prologue:

During a recent Creative Conjuring Class, we were challenged with writing a personal essay exploring inner thoughts of self. Heads turned towards me instantly. No one thinks I can be serious; Ghouls laugh at me when I try and ask them out; teachers always blame me for pranks. Well, the truth is I am a very serious monster, with a lot of deep feelings. To set the record straight, so to speak, I decided to publish my essay (which got an A by the way). Breathe fire all you want, because I’m proud of who I am.

WHO AM I? The Monster Inside.

By Heath Burns 

It’s hard out there for a mildly funny prankster.  Most monsters deal with the same questions of self – who am I?  What do I want in un-life?  Even some of my closest monsters wonder who I am, and to be honest, many times so do I.  It leads me to ask, can one ever truly know the real monster inside?  Or is un-life just a continuous hunt to find purpose to feed the soul?  I know that one thing that truly feeds me is my passion for fun, but no one seems to get the humor in my punch lines.  The hardest part is being tormented by the feeling that no monster will ever truly understand me. 

Most times, I just feel completely misunderstood.  On the outside, I’m Heath Burns – class clown and UHHHn-defeated prankster! It’s an external personae – everyone has one.  Don’t get me wrong, I love to laugh and practical jokes really are my forte, but occasionally a monster just wants to mellow out and have a serious convo with the pretty ghoul from Biteology class.  Unfortunately, most monsters don’t let me express my sensitive side, because they expect a joke at every turn.  Since I’m a pro, I always give my audience what they expect – but sometimes it can be a total buzz kill. 

That being said, the Heath Burns lifestyle is one awesome ride!  I am who I am, and that’s all I want or need to be.  Monsters may think they have my personality pegged, but they’re dead wrong.  I am strong, unique and totally the beast guy to have around when you’re in need of a gut busting laugh.  But I’m also caring and creative – so don’t forget you should never judge a clown by his worst joke. 

I am myself, I am unique and I am a freakishly awesome monster!